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THE 

JINGLE-JUNGLE 

BOOK 








































































J 

THE 

JINGLE-JUNGLE 
BOOK 

By 

Oliver Herford 



NEW YORK 
THE CENTURY CO. 
1913 




Copyright, 1911, 1912, 1913, by 
THE CENTURY CO. 


Published, November, 1913 



©CI.A35761 4 

^*- 0 / 



CONTENTS 


The Optimist 
In the Style . 

A Personal Experience . 
The Cockatoo 
The Delsartian Eel 
The Gnat and the Gnu . 
The Humorous Ant 
The Oratorical Crab 
The Oracle 
The Fastidious Yak 
The Ounce of Detention 
The Thoroughbred Horse 
The Inquisitive Leopard 
The Financier Fox 
Tra-la-larceny 
The Melancholy Crane 
Tact .... 
The Chromatic Chameleon 
The Sole-Hungering Camel 
The Mendacious Mole 
The Kind Armadillo 
A Miracle 

The Misapprehended Goose 
The Somnolent Bivalve 
The Feminine Seal 
The Partial Pig 
A Matter of Taste 


Page 

2 

4 

6 

8 

10 

12 

14 

16 

18 

20 

22 

24 

26 

28 

30 

32 

34 

36 

38 

40 

42 

44 

46 

48 

50 

52 

54 


i 








CONTENTS 


Page 

The Eternal Feminine ...... 56 

The Owltruistic Owl ...... 58 

The Misanthropic Condor ..... 60 

The Filcanthropic Cow ...... 62 

The Provident Puffin ...... 64 

The Boasters . ..... 66 

The Cantankerous ’Gator ..... 68 

The Erudite Ermine . . . . . 70 

The Fan-tastic Squirrel . . . 72 

The Omnivorous Bookworm . . . . . 74 


2 






THE 

JINGLE-JUNGLE 

BOOK 


THE OPTIMIST 


Said a cheerful old bear at the Zoo: 
“I never have time to feel blue, 

If it bores me, you know, 

To walk to and fro, 

I reverse it and walk fro and to.” 



3 

























IN THE STYLE 


A Tapir who lived in Malay 
Was reading the fall styles one day, 
When he cried with delight, 

“My figure’s all right: 

Tapir waists are the fashion, they say.” 



5 







A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE 


A puppy whose hair was so flowing 
There really was no means of knowing 
Which end was his head, 

Once stopped me and said, 
“Please, sir, am I coming or going?” 













THE COCKATOO 


“Good gracious!” cried Miss Cockatoo, 
“Whatever on earth shall I do? 

Bright colors to-day 
Have gone out, and they say 
High head-dresses now are taboo. ’ 


mm 







THE DELSARTIAN EEL 

An eel who had studied Delsarte, 
The alphabet thus could impart 
To a small school of fish, 
Who said’t was their wish 
To learn without using a chart. 


to 







THE GNAT AND THE GNU 

‘How absurd,” said the gnat to the gnu 
“To spell your queer name as you do!” 
“For the matter of that,” 

Said the gnu to the gnat, 

“That’s just how I feel about you.” 


12 






13 








THE HUMOROUS ANT 

Once a grasshopper (food being scant) 
Begged an ant some assistance to grant; 
But the ant shook his head, 

“ I can’t help you,” he said, 

“It’s an uncle you need not an aunt.” 


14 



15 


■ . 1 _I 








THE ORATORICAL CRAB 

Said the crab: “ ’Tis not beauty or birth 
That is needed to conquer the earth. 

To win in life’s fight, 

First be sure you are right, 

Then go sidewise for all you are worth.” 


16 





. ■ 






mu / Jte 


17 












THE ORACLE 

There once was a weatherwise crow, 
When asked if he thought it would snow, 
He would ponder and say, 
“Peradventure it may, 

Then again it may not. Time will show.” 


18 










THE FASTIDIOUS YAK 

There was once a fastidious yak 
Who refused to eat hay from a stack. 
“A haystack,” said he, 

“Looks so very like me!” 

(The haystack’s the one at the back.) 


20 



21 
















THE OUNCE OF DETENTION 

Once a pound-keeper chanced to impound 
An ounce that was straying around. 

The pound-keeper straight 
Was fined for false weight, 

Since he’d only one ounce in his pound. 


22 





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23 





















THE THOROUGHBRED HORSE 

“ I have often been told,” said the horse, 
“Of man’s intellectual force, 

A thing, if correct, 

I should never suspect 
From the people I meet at the course.” 


24 



25 






THE INQUISITIVE LEOPARD 

A leopard, when told that benzine 
Removed spots and imparted a sheen, 
Just to try, drank a stein! 

Next moment no sign 
Of a spot (or a leopard) was seen. 


26 



27 










THE FINANCIER FOX 

There once was a plausible fox 
Who explained that he dabbled in 
“stocks.” 

But they found out one day 
“Live stock” was his “lay,” 

When he “cornered” ten prize Plymouth 
Rocks. 


28 
















TRA-LA-LARCENY 

A heathen named Min, passing by 
A pie-shop, picked up a mince-pie. 

If you think Min a thief, 

Pray dismiss the belief: 

The mince-pie that Min spied was Min’s 
pie. 


30 



31 




























THE MELANCHOLY CRANE 

There once was a cryptical crane, 
Who wore an expression of pain 
And refused to be fed 
Because some one said 
He resembled one Hamlet, a Dane. 


32 



33 










TACT 

Quoth a cat to me once: “Pray relieve 
My suspense. What does eight from nine 
leave?” 

Poor puss looked so cold 
And so thin and so old, 

I replied, “ Quite a few, I believe.” 


34 



L 






35 











THE CHROMATIC CHAMELEON 

There was once a chromatic chameleon 
Who copied each tint he gazed freely on, 
When he tried a Scotch plaid, 

He went stark, staring mad, 

And cried, “This beats Ossa on Pelion!” 


36 



37 


0 









THE SOLE-HUNGERING CAMEL 

A camel, with practical views 
On the nutritive value of shoes, 

To the mosque would repair 
While the folks were at prayer, 
Little dreaming their shoes they would lose. 


38 



39 


























THE MENDACIOUS MOLE 

Said the mole: “ You would never suppose 
How far back my family goes. 

The first of my name 
From Normandy came 
On William the Conqueror’s nose.” 


40 





41 










THE KIND ARMADILLO 

There once was a kind armadillo 
Who solaced a long weeping-willow. 
Said he: “Do not weep! 

What you need is some sleep; 
Pray rest on my shell as a pillow.” 


42 



43 





A MOCK MIRACLE 

There was a young waitress named Myrtle 
Who carried a plate of mock turtle, 
When, strange to relate, 

She tripped, and the plate 
That once was mock turtle turned turtle. 


44 



45 





THE MISAPPREHENDED GOOSE 

One evening a goose, for a treat, 

For the opera purchased a seat. 

At the very first line 
She exclaimed, “How divine!” 
And for hissing was thrown in the street. 


46 



47 




















THE SOMNOLENT BIVALVE 

Said the oyster: “To-morrow’s May-day; 
But don’t call me early, I pray. 

Just tuck me instead 
In my snug oyster-bed, 

And there till September I’ll stay.” 


48 







THE FEMININE SEAL 

Said a lachrymose Labrador seal, 

When asked why she wept with such zeal, 
“My tears are not lost, 

In this antarctic frost: 

To magnificent pearls they congeal.” 


50 



51 

















THE PARTIAL PIG 

A pig who to “Hamlet” was taken 
Formed a theory that could not be shaken. 
“In Hamlet said he, 

“A cipher we see 

That proves it was written by Bacon ” 


52 



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A MATTER OF TASTE 

Said the Ostrich, “I fear if I ate 
A mince-pie, it would settle my fate; 
But this crockery ware 
Has a flavor that’s rare!”— 

And he passed back his pie for more plate! 


54 







55 







THE ETERNAL FEMININE 

Said the spider, in tones of distress: 
As a spinster I’m not a success. 
Though I toil and I spin 
And I work myself thin, 

I never can have a new dress. 


56 



57 










THE OWLTRUISTIC OWL 

A canary, its woe to assuage, 

Once invented a wireless cage. 

The owl shook his head, 

“It’s a Great Thought,” he said; 
“But it’s far in advance of the age.” 


58 



59 
















THE MISANTHROPIC CONDOR 


Said the condor, in tones of despair: 
“Not even the atmosphere’s rare. 
Since man took to flying, 

It’s really too trying, 

The people one meets in the air.” 




61 









THE FILCANTHROPIC COW 

Said a cow: “It has long been my dream, 
A sort of utopian scheme, 

To leave, when I die, 

Enough milk to supply 
A home for poor kittens—with cream.” 


62 





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63 



























THE PROVIDENT PUFFIN 

There once was a provident puffin 
Who ate all the fish he could stuff in. 
Said he, “’Tis my plan 
To eat when I can: 

When there’s nuffin’ to eat I eat nuffin’.” 


64 



65 





THE BOASTERS 

Said the Snail to the Tortoise: “You may 
Find it hard to believe what I say; 

You will think it absurd, 

But I give you my word, 

They fined me for speeding to-day.” 

“Well,well!”said theTortoise. Dear me! 
How defective your motor must be! 
Though I speed every day, 

Not a fine do I pay: 

The police cannot catch me, you see.” 


66 










67 




THE CANTANKEROUS ’GATOR 

There was a cantankerous ’gator 
For whom ’t was no pleasure to cater. 

If he happened to find 
No dish to his mind, 

He would like as not swallow the waiter. 


68 





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69 























THE ERUDITE ERMINE 

Said an envious, erudite ermine: 
“There’s one thing I cannot determine 
When a man wears my coat, 

He’s a person of note, 

While I’m but a species of vermin!’’ 


70 



71 






THE FAN-TASTIC SQUIRREL 

Said a squirrel who raced with a fan; 
“You are built on a wonderful plan; 
But you’d better take care 
Or you’ll lose all your hair. 

I advise you to stop if you can.” 


72 



73 













































THE OMNIVOROUS BOOKWORM 

Quoth the bookworm, “ I don’t care one bit 
If writers have wisdom or wit; 

A volume must be 
Pretty dull to bore me 
As completely as I can bore it.” 


74 


































































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